I Tried To Fight It But I Was Inside It

by Nervous Curtains

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1.
05:35
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04:46
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05:36
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03:47
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credits

released August 9, 2019

Produced, engineered, and mixed by Alex Bhore at Elmwood Studio, Dallas
Additional vocals by Nan Kirkpatrick
Additional synth by Alex Bhore
Mastered by Sarah Register
Art by Badgewearer
Layout by Emil Rapstine
Dreamy Life Records 2019

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Nervous Curtains Dallas, Texas

Comprised solely of synthesizers, live drums, and vocals, I Tried To Fight It But I Was Inside It, the fourth album by the Dallas, TX trio, is heavy music with a primary focus on rhythm, syncopation, and movement. This is not retro; it's a menacing sound that mirrors the fear, disorder, and defiance of the present moment. Everything here is dialed to a shadowy psychedelia which offers no escapism. ... more

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Track Name: Mass Amnesia
Rehabilitated
Prepped for the public relations
An easy sell an empty shell
Return from eternal damnation
Pelted by the blowback
The definition of insanity
A lie that dropped 500,000
But at least we had some decency

Fed through a feedback loop
And cleansed by our amnesia
Zombie corpse of a neocon
Nostalgia our anesthesia
Grabbing hands Doomsday arms
A trail of broken mirrors
Some ills I won’t forgive
But I forget how we got here

Genocidal general rise from the tomb
Apparition or aberration, the curse still looms
A fresh hell a new foe unmasked
To reveal echoes from our past

This is who we are
And have always been
Track Name: Paramilitary Re-enactor
Crypto fascist
Propagandist
Pseudo zealot
White lash bite back

We need a new civil war
To retain complete control

Who needs facts when
They think they’re under attack
Paramilitary re-enactor

They advertise the darkest days
To enforce their extremist ways

The anti-establishment that worships the badges
Provocative calls to defend your family
Weekend survivalists & armchair fanatics
Punk rock right wingers/ Rockabilly radicals
We saw black-clad chaos storm in
City streets just like third world war zones
Private premium / public ransom
Reactionary culture warriors looking backwards
Track Name: Mask
An epidemic toxicity
The emptiness inside of me
I took the devil’s pact
To keep the house intact

She said it’s no coincidence
When they erase accomplishments
That don’t fit the narrative
And lift up the ubermensch

The mask you create
Your love to dominate
Act more desperate
Quietly annihilate

I’d be a scab to my identity
Just to cut my complicity
Board rooms perpetual wars
The mass murder and the trading floors

They say it’s just coincidence
While they destroy the evidence
And act free from consequence
The God-like supermen

Soft boys going hard on excuses
Distorted portrait muted voices dispute it
Flip the victim Follow script of abusers
We only suffer when we’re chasing our muses

Her face a thousand ships
A couple more for the hips
Track Name: Executioner Privilege
Here in this fixed arrangement
Slouching to the bleakest future
He’s got the corner executive suite
Right down the hall from the executioner

He built an underground bunker
Escape hatch from the coming collapse
I spent my time reading Klein and listening to the Cure
I’ve never been a friend of the executioner

He’s got a seat on the board
Paid a kickback to the lord
But still got the devil on his side
He’s got contacts inside

They’ll smash the bodies into boxes
They’ll tell you crises are just hoaxes
They’ll put you in a race with a venal creature
It’s not a symptom It’s a feature

His shirt starched and white
He’ll get off with no time
On the shores where his fortunes hide
He’s got contacts inside
Track Name: Fatal Flaw
We got billboards, barricades
Police state for free trade
Hey you made a killing
The pharmaceutical rep
Camped out on your doorstep
But it almost killed you
Unwilling participants
Feel no significance
Plummet in value
No bill has been issued
And that’s when it hits you
That you’re on the menu

Mechanical coping
While synchronized stroking
The flame that’s been eating you
Wearing synthetic leather
Made by slave labor
To the party at the gallows

Drug lords, border guards
Running guns down the boulevard
Opportunity’s calling
We Busted up the institution
New blood for an old infusion
So cruel and callow
A stacked deck in the frame
This is the worst game
They ever engineered
And now it’s just formality
To play cowboys and enemies
They picked the winner years ago
If there’s no jackpot no payoff
Then it must be your fatal flaw


The dopamine receptor
To the neurotransmitter
It was crashed by the task force
They’ll be slipping a 50
Down at the penitentiary
And claim that it’s the natural order
They’ll say you can’t be trusted
To be a faithful narrator
Of your own nightmare
They’ll say you’re just starstruck
Desperate and manipulative
You’re so hungry for fame

The principle monstrocity
That drives this black comedy
While wreckage lands in remote geography
An image rolling on the screen
The screams cut in with celebrities
Who are immediately comforting
A slick reproduction
Of a moral affliction
That props up the value
I’m down with the theory
But y’all won’t even hear me
If there’s no returns or revenue

If there’s no jackpot no payoff
Then it must be your fatal flaw
Track Name: Final Scene
None of us have normal lives
Destabilized normalized
Toxic needs to satisfy
Seeping in the water supply

Give it all to your creator
Pay it back a little later
The trick is how they shift it up
Shift the blame and you're still fucked

Inevitably cut up reality
Body parts projected into space
Casino mentality
Individuality
The entertainment of no escape
There's no escape

Tune in for the final scene
Off the ropes and through the ring
The smoke, the mirrors, the marketing
The running man's still running
Track Name: People Are Not Reasonable
Scrolls of vengeance
Divisions and
Visions of sickness
In spirals
In viral fallacies

Trolls and traitors
Hot button fingers burning
Statues for implanted memories
Alt-histories

There’s no reason to believe that reason will overcome this
If we’ve established anything it’s that people are not reasonable

Faith loss leader
Inner demon on a t-shirt
True believer
The rising machines

OK we’ll resist
Stand against but plot twist
It’s actually our own nature that
Defeats us

I don’t mock faith ‘cause faith don’t come easy, at least it don’t for me
I reject the way you’ve jacked this faith for manipulate reasons
Perform persecution Play-act oppression
It’s a thriving industry
That siphons society into an expanding heedless death machine

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