I Tried To Fight It But I Was Inside It

by Nervous Curtains

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Emil Rapstine
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Emil Rapstine We don't deserve it, but this is the album that 2019 so desperately needs. Nervous Curtains sound fiercer here than ever with Alex Bhore’s production allowing these tracks to truly come alive. Dive in, drown in the static and despair, but wash up on the shore, reborn and ready to punch Nazis! Favorite track: Paramilitary Re-enactor.
Conan Neutron
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Conan Neutron The Kings of Dallas synth are back at it with a strong offering. There’s more sequencing this time, and the song material veers towards the explicitly political. The record rides an interesting line by being explicitly psych oriented, but lyrically grounded in harsh and brutal reality. Music to canvass to.

Favorite track: Paramilitary Re-enactor.
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1.
05:35
Rehabilitated Prepped for the public relations An easy sell an empty shell Return from eternal damnation Pelted by the blowback The definition of insanity A lie that dropped 500,000 But at least we had some decency Fed through a feedback loop And cleansed by our amnesia Zombie corpse of a neocon Nostalgia our anesthesia Grabbing hands Doomsday arms A trail of broken mirrors Some ills I won’t forgive But I forget how we got here Genocidal general rise from the tomb Apparition or aberration, the curse still looms A fresh hell a new foe unmasked To reveal echoes from our past This is who we are And have always been
2.
Crypto fascist Propagandist Pseudo zealot White lash bite back We need a new civil war To retain complete control Who needs facts when They think they’re under attack Paramilitary re-enactor They advertise the darkest days To enforce their extremist ways The anti-establishment that worships the badges Provocative calls to defend your family Weekend survivalists & armchair fanatics Punk rock right wingers/ Rockabilly radicals We saw black-clad chaos storm in City streets just like third world war zones Private premium / public ransom Reactionary culture warriors looking backwards
3.
04:46
An epidemic toxicity The emptiness inside of me I took the devil’s pact To keep the house intact She said it’s no coincidence When they erase accomplishments That don’t fit the narrative And lift up the ubermensch The mask you create Your love to dominate Act more desperate Quietly annihilate I’d be a scab to my identity Just to cut my complicity Board rooms perpetual wars The mass murder and the trading floors They say it’s just coincidence While they destroy the evidence And act free from consequence The God-like supermen Soft boys going hard on excuses Distorted portrait muted voices dispute it Flip the victim Follow script of abusers We only suffer when we’re chasing our muses Her face a thousand ships A couple more for the hips
4.
Here in this fixed arrangement Slouching to the bleakest future He’s got the corner executive suite Right down the hall from the executioner He built an underground bunker Escape hatch from the coming collapse I spent my time reading Klein and listening to the Cure I’ve never been a friend of the executioner He’s got a seat on the board Paid a kickback to the lord But still got the devil on his side He’s got contacts inside They’ll smash the bodies into boxes They’ll tell you crises are just hoaxes They’ll put you in a race with a venal creature It’s not a symptom It’s a feature His shirt starched and white He’ll get off with no time On the shores where his fortunes hide He’s got contacts inside
5.
05:36
We got billboards, barricades Police state for free trade Hey you made a killing The pharmaceutical rep Camped out on your doorstep But it almost killed you Unwilling participants Feel no significance Plummet in value No bill has been issued And that’s when it hits you That you’re on the menu Mechanical coping While synchronized stroking The flame that’s been eating you Wearing synthetic leather Made by slave labor To the party at the gallows Drug lords, border guards Running guns down the boulevard Opportunity’s calling We Busted up the institution New blood for an old infusion So cruel and callow A stacked deck in the frame This is the worst game They ever engineered And now it’s just formality To play cowboys and enemies They picked the winner years ago If there’s no jackpot no payoff Then it must be your fatal flaw The dopamine receptor To the neurotransmitter It was crashed by the task force They’ll be slipping a 50 Down at the penitentiary And claim that it’s the natural order They’ll say you can’t be trusted To be a faithful narrator Of your own nightmare They’ll say you’re just starstruck Desperate and manipulative You’re so hungry for fame The principle monstrocity That drives this black comedy While wreckage lands in remote geography An image rolling on the screen The screams cut in with celebrities Who are immediately comforting A slick reproduction Of a moral affliction That props up the value I’m down with the theory But y’all won’t even hear me If there’s no returns or revenue If there’s no jackpot no payoff Then it must be your fatal flaw
6.
03:47
None of us have normal lives Destabilized normalized Toxic needs to satisfy Seeping in the water supply Give it all to your creator Pay it back a little later The trick is how they shift it up Shift the blame and you're still fucked Inevitably cut up reality Body parts projected into space Casino mentality Individuality The entertainment of no escape There's no escape Tune in for the final scene Off the ropes and through the ring The smoke, the mirrors, the marketing The running man's still running
7.
Scrolls of vengeance Divisions and Visions of sickness In spirals In viral fallacies Trolls and traitors Hot button fingers burning Statues for implanted memories Alt-histories There’s no reason to believe that reason will overcome this If we’ve established anything it’s that people are not reasonable Faith loss leader Inner demon on a t-shirt True believer The rising machines OK we’ll resist Stand against but plot twist It’s actually our own nature that Defeats us I don’t mock faith ‘cause faith don’t come easy, at least it don’t for me I reject the way you’ve jacked this faith for manipulate reasons Perform persecution Play-act oppression It’s a thriving industry That siphons society into an expanding heedless death machine

credits

released August 9, 2019

Produced, engineered, and mixed by Alex Bhore at Elmwood Studio, Dallas
Additional vocals by Nan Kirkpatrick
Additional synth by Alex Bhore
Mastered by Sarah Register
Art by Badgewearer
Layout by Emil Rapstine
Dreamy Life Records 2019

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Nervous Curtains Dallas, Texas

Comprised solely of synthesizers, live drums, and vocals, I Tried To Fight It But I Was Inside It, the fourth album by the Dallas, TX trio, is heavy music with a primary focus on rhythm, syncopation, and movement. This is not retro; it's a menacing sound that mirrors the fear, disorder, and defiance of the present moment. Everything here is dialed to a shadowy psychedelia which offers no escapism. ... more

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